Amazing Grace or DIY: Beginner's Guide To Gracious Living

Have you ever read something that just made you cry? I do all the time (big sentimental sap that I am!), but my favorite has always been the novel Jonathan Livingston Seagull. (Richard Bach)
Ever heard of it? It's a great story about one lone seagull who wants to learn to fly- not to eat, or fight, but just for the joy of flying. Throughout the book, each time he strives to better himself, his fellow gulls peck at him and tear him down, but he manages to overcome their ignorance and rise- quite literally, to new levels. He leaves his family behind and moves to higher and higher levels of existence, eventually learning that what he was really learning was not how to fly, but how to love. Once he learns to love- he no longer has a need to fly. Love can take you anywhere and anytime-once you can love, you can be or do anything. 
You are free.

All my life I have wanted to be graceful, to be able to move liquidly, rhythmically, beautifully. I figured my looks  and brains weren't anything to write home about, so I'd better learn to do something beautifully if I were ever going to make my life worthwhile. I have thrown myself into my job- working doggedly, ignoring stress and unhappiness, and the ultimate realization that while I was good at what I did- I didn't love it- and it certainly wouldn't love me when I got old. I threw myself into hobbies- learning gymnastics, yoga, meditation, dance, karate, painting, piano  tai chi, the waltz (yes, you heard me- the waltz. Be glad it wasn't the tango! "shudder"), all in an effort to be graceful. I used to be a tomboy- then I learned to paint my nails just so, to wobble in heels, to curl my hair- in vain attempts to offset what I thought were my less desirable features- inside and out. If I have one good trait, it's that I try to be honest with myself-(not too much, because that can get your feelings hurt), but if I do wrong- I know it and I acknowledge it. And it finally occurred to me that I have been living my life wrongly- a hurtful truth, because who wants to think they've wasted that much time? (Don't ask me how old I am- if you know, forget it- if you don't, good.) But while I have been trying to live gracefully, I have not been living graciously or lovingly.
This is not to say I haven't loved- I dearly love the people in my life-perhaps too much (No offense, fam, but I could write a book- call it
"Women Who Love Too Much While Not Loving Themselves Enough Because They Got Issues" -hmmm.  Too long, you think?)
 But while I know about loving, I know how to love, I know how to give love; I know nothing about accepting it for myself. Expecting people to be loving to you isn't graceful- graceful is giving up the last chocolate when you really want it. Graceful is looking beautiful for people who will never appreciate it or you. Graceful is working till you're sick as a dog- and setting the standard so that people will expect it from you from then on. Graceful is working without complaining because you don't want to trouble others- so, (muy intellig`ente) you trouble yourself. Expecting people to be loving- is selfish. It puts a burden on them to be more than they are- and, ooh, you know how people hate high expectations for themselves!

Being gracious is altogether different. Being gracious is living life without self imposed burdens, without shackling our natural exuberance, and humors- living our lives fully, without denigrating others, but realizing that our lives are ours to live.  Being gracious is not only that, but knowing  and telling (and you know some people need telling) the world that  we can live just fine without the disparaging commentary of others, and promptly proceeding to do so. If you have ever seen a person being happy- unselfconsciously, without peering around for judgment; if you have ever been that person, you know how good it feels...and how rarely it occurs.  Being gracious means being selfish-doing or not doing good and loving things because they make us feel good-not because they're expected of us. It also means being or not being  good (by your own, definition- not the beliefs of others!)  whenever you feel it is right.
I have never been gracious to myself- I have never expected others to love me, because like L'Oreal says, "I'm worth it."  My "job" has been to love others, to give of myself and hope it all pans out. In all my life I have never been free to accept love- or to not care if others don't love me.

When Jonathan Livingstone Seagull returns to his flock with all the knowledge he has gained, they turn their backs on him- all except for one seagull who says, "I want to fly-but I can't. I have a broken wing." What makes me cry whenever I read it is how true it feels, when Jonathan answers him,

 "You are free to fly, this moment, just as you are."

A simple line (albeit plagiarized- I mean paraphrased-yeaahh. "shifty look") 

and in the next moment the seagull with the broken wing  flies.

 I know it's just a story  (Ed . Note: bite your tongue! There is no such thing as "just a story!"), but it makes me cry everytime. 

I am not a seagull.

 I'm just a girl who can't dance, or sing, or write gracefully,

but who desperately wants to live graciously, to be loving  and loved.

I am the girl with the broken wing who wants to do more than just fly.

I want to be free.

Behold, thou art fair, my love; or DIY:Song of Myself

I know not how to praise you, oh my love.
like lightning, like tears, your love,the passing of time-
all are unknowable.
Your embrace preserves me in amber, in honey,-
in you I drown thickly in sweetness.
You cause me to lie in the moon's gaze,
to behold you, a wondrous star-
yearning,distant,
eternal as only mortal things are.
Lips,full, that speak no words,contain a thousand touches-
seek me out and brush by me again.
Incarnadine thy mouth and the wisdom thereof-
bless me, with the petals of your breath
that I may draw you in,
and breath you out-
intangibly embraced,
sweetness manifest.
Give me your hand, dearest, truest friend,
and ask all of me in return-
no sweeter bargain wrought than this of ours
that time for us should pass like blooming flowers which joy in their youth,yet aged, provide sweet fruit.
Our love is alike to every other in the world,
no more distinct than any that has been or is yet to be,
esteemed only in that tis a pact 'twixt you and me.
Your hand in mine, a dreamer's rest,
my heart in yours, and pressed between our lips,
our name is shared-
it is myself.

(First line-Gossamer Axe- Gael Baudino)

Seek Ye First The Kingdom of God

Recently, (like in the last few days) I've been reading some philosophy and doing some heavy thinking- which hurt, so I stopped. But then I went back and took a second crack at it, and what I came up with is this- the next time some pissant gets in your face about a minor issue and asks "Who made you God?"- tell them the truth- You did. In every self help book- Bible, Koran and Torah included- it pretty clearly states that we are more than the sum of our parts- that we have the innate ability to be creators and destroyers. Where does that power come from? From within us- every science, and religion tells us that we are more than we can comprehend. Science continues to astound us with wonder at the complexity of the human mind and body and we are transfixed at the sight of holy men and women who manifest miracles- everyday we are confounded and reminded of our ignorance and our uncommon knowledge. It takes chutzpah to live your life like you are a god- like you are God (with a capital G, please note) and most of us don't have the Thatchers (look it up, people!). To be God- to be manifest as God, would require that we admit that we really our responsible for our own lives- that we are made to be greater than we are, that we are afraid of our own greatness, and that in many ways it is so much more comfortable to be small, powerless and at the whims of the world. It is the ultimate feeling of security to know that "Big Brother" is watching over us-If I have problems, it's not my fault-it's God's. Even as we pray the Lord is my strength and my salvation, we give away our awesome power in exchange for eternal childhood. But God never intended for us to remain children. It's why we were tempted by the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge-why we tempted ourselves and why we left the garden and entered the world. We can be more than conquerors- but most of us don't wish to- we don't want to conquer our pettiness, our jealousies and our anger. We don't want to forgive others, because we don't feel we are deserving of forgiveness- and like selfish children, we withhold from others and ourselves that which we desperately need to be free. I had to learn long ago to forgive myself for things that had often kept me up late at night- and I still haven't come to the end of the list. And if you think me arrogant for forgiving myself-well, I don't have to forgive you, if it makes you feel any better. I was created in God's image-my own image, for a purposeful end. It may take my lifetime for me to journey and find what that purpose is- but it is there. My existence is not coincidental- to quote Nikki Giovanni (Egotrippin') "I turned myself into myself and was Jesus"-even better,I was and am, me- a whole being, a powerful entity-not a child, but a part of the universe "no less than the trees and stars" (Max Ehrman- The Desiderata) and no less deserving or capable of great things. Within me lies both my own heaven and hell- I shape myself and change myself every second of every day and surely there is no greater power than this- to change reality and consciousness at my whim. Today I choose to believe that God is within me and all power is mine- that the kingdom of God is here on earth wherever I walk- that eternity is mine to dwell in, in peace forevermore. And who out there will gainsay me? Go find your own inner deity. Walk out of hell and into your power. "For know ye not that ye are gods?" (Apologies to Dan Brown-The Lost Symbol)

Peace, Love, God

My Immortal

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen (1935 - ) 
 
Try this: write your own obituary.  What would it say?  Is it a three word salutation, i.e.: RIP or a soliloquy extolling your virtues?

Here lies Blackgirl.

She was awesome!

or

Here lies Blackgirl

   Award winning author, publisher,

mother of two, faithful wife,

motorcycle enthusiast,

Sensei and philosopher.

She changed the world! 

Will you really be remembered and by whom? 

     Everyone wants to be immortal.  I,personally, plan to live forever-barring unforeseen accidents (and foreseen ones too, of course.) Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But as Robert Heinlein wrote (  To Sail Beyond The Sunset-awesome book and one of my favorite authors) "Yes, maybe it's just one colossal big joke, with no point to it. But I can tell you this...  whatever the answers are, here's one monkey that's going to keep on climbing, and looking around him to see what he can see, as long as the tree holds out."

     Realistically, (but who wants to be realistic, really?  ahem,)  Realistically,  immortality lies in creating a presence, a memory of ourselves that lives on past death- in making an impression that influences people`s lives- in leaving behind a legacy- whether tangible- through children, wealth or charity or intangible- merely, (I say merely, though it`s anything but) the warm rememberances of family and friends.   Immortality has been the goal of humanity for generations because we cannot definitively answer the question "What happens when we die?" Therefore like any intelligent being we seek to avoid altogether that　ultimate mystery - either by "living it up"- boozing, wenching, motorcycle abuse ( my favorite!)

(Ed. note-we here at Blackgirl industries do not in any way endorse motorcyle abuse. Our motto is and always will be - Just Say No!)

 or we end up avoiding life itself all together-living a life of "quiet desperation."  Avoiding anything that might upset the delicate balance that keeps the organism that is you, ticking-strong drink, strong language, strong women- a recipe for disaster  and a early grave? Mayhap. The truth is -immortality is unachievable- but living forever is not- if you consider that forever, as far as you know, is as long as you, personally live.  So somehow, we need to inject life into our life.  To make (I know, people) "every moment count."- to stretch the minutes into hours in a good way-not like when you`re at the office and can`t wait to get home.  Make as many minutes joyful- full of joy- as you can. This does not mean you will always be happy! It does mean that you will be joy-full-capable of feeling the fullness of life and you must be mind-full- using the full capacity of  your mind to fully engage in your life- in feeling and being alive-whether that means feeling grief or liberation.  Forever is a misnomer-eternity is only nomenclature- a name for the experience of being alive.  A hummingbird`s heart beats at 1200 beats per minute-their life depends on the tiniest of organs continually throbbing- on continually feeding -on literally "stopping to smell the roses." You  are not a hummingbird (unless you are, in which case, my apologies), but you are human- an organism singularly gifted at -designed even to experience, enjoy and  remember life.  Your body is designed to survive, your mind is designed to comprehend (a lot more than we generally allow it to.) Your spirit wants to experience life... so let it. Be alive, Be aware, Be joyful.  

"You are immortal, beloved.  You cannot die.."(Heinlein- Time Enough For Love) -

   unless you haven`t truly lived  ...(me)

A Sorta Fairytale

When you first learn about love, you learn about it from fairytales. Tales where the princess is rescued by the handsome prince who has traveled through exotic lands and wandered through time to find her, where their first kiss is magical, their love for each other eternal and blissful. Happiness abounds and they live (say it with me, folks) “Happily Ever After”. You believe in these tales because they are so pure, so beautiful, so fantastic. You will spend the rest of your life trying to figure out why real life doesn’t measure up： why your prince or princess (let’s not be sexist here) isn’t waiting for you, searching for you, doesn’t love you, loves something more than you (drugs, alcohol, themselves), isn’t capable of love, is too immature to love. Look at everyone you’ve ever loved- who you secretly held out hope would be “The One” and tell me you haven’t wondered “How the hell did all of these frogs get here?!” To take a page from an old saying, “Lie down with frogs, get up with warts.” None of us are Snow White- we are not princesses laid low by magical spells, we are not lowly maids who will be raised high by princes. We are all frogs. We are all marked by the scars life has given us and the truth is fairy tales aren’t real- but you already knew that. The truth is love can be instantaneous, but even love at first sight has to live past the second (sighting, that is). The truth is love heals all wounds- which is only fair, since it causes half of them anyway. The truth is love can conquer mountains, but most of us would really prefer the garden path. The truth is…the truth. Love is not a human invention, but certainly we have added some unnecessary complications. We tell ourselves bedtime stories that assure us that in the end we will not be alone, when the truth is we are alone all the time with each other. Love is a not a cure all for the affliction of the human condition. That’s endemic. It is, however, a balm, a heart’s ease, that softens the edges of life, just enough that we can try to achieve…- whatever it is we’re meant to achieve here. Let’s try this for once. Just for once, let’s try telling a true story- an oxymoron, I know. A story where love conquers all by conquering nothing-where it’s not a sword, but a shield. Where princesses don’t wait for princes to wake them up, but get off their asses and hack their way through life’s thorns on their own. Where women don’t have to wear glass slippers (they’re fragile, and cold and besides, who wants their calluses exposed to the world?) Where princes don’t have to kill to be loved or fight to be valued. Let’s try a story where people find that life has no guaranteed happily ever after- and they live life anyway. Where there is no magic but that of the human heart and its ability to expand as needed, to be strong, and malleable and scarred- to be wounded again and again and keep beating. Let’s try a story where we don’t know the ending, where every hero and heroine makes their own choices- and start out on their own paths to epic journeys. Tell me a story where kissed frogs stay frogs; but are loved, warts and all.

*click the title link for some appropriate mood music!

Love's Labour Lost (Not) or DIY：Checking out of Heartbreak Hotel!

They say a surefire way to get over one heartbreak is to engage in the next one. As in find the next guy or gal, the next experience, the next high- anything that numbs the feeling of heartbreak you’re currently experiencing. You know, that salt rubbed in an open wound in your chest feeling? Yeah, that one. How many of us have engaged in the Hokey Pokey with someone just to feel better about ourselves, and ended up feeling worse? (Raise your hands please. Yes, you too.) How many of us have done it more than once? (Just an informal poll, if you please-if you’ve done it more than twice, I weep for you and hope you get help. Seriously.*) Sometimes, it takes awhile for us to learn. (How did we get to be the dominant species anyway? Oh yeah, that whole thumbs thing.) Anyway, when you find yourself singing sad songs and roaming the streets looking for Heartbreak Hotel and mooning over what coulda, shoulda, woulda been ( but wasn’t- face reality, people, it really wasn’t), take a detour instead and spend some time outside yourself-( no matter how hard that may be, because Lord knows, you’re fascinating,) and take a long hard look at why you are where you are. This is a hard endeavor. It takes a lot to look at ones deepest, inner self and feel neither revulsion or pride. Neither of those emotions is particularly helpful in being a good human being, and yet millions of us continue to wallow in them. The best way to look at yourself, is the way we should look at everyone, with ultimate compassion and love. It’s a hard trick to master- most of us are so used to looking for validation outside ourselves, and we do so in unhealthy ways- through money, power, celebrity or infamy. None of us are happy being who we are, alone, so we cling together, and when we cling together, we do so in a muddle of unhappiness and wonder why we can’t escape. Seriously, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you want to take over the world- your inner world, that is, you have to, like Apple computers “think different” (ly-sorry, bad grammar gets to me.) For every wrinkle in your brain trained to think misery makes you a good human being, you need to think a positive thought a hundred times before your brain will un-entrench itself and move onto a new path. For every time you castigate yourself for making one bad decision after another in love, you need to praise yourself for having the courage to love in the first place, and the intelligence to learn from that experience. For every wound carved on your heart, give yourself one gold sticker until your wall is covered in them. Wear a tattoo that reads “Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.” Be a bad ass Wounded Love Warrior. Just don’t curl up and die. Never, never, never say die.

*BTW, you're welcome to join my therapy group. I'll be the one wearing a sticker that says "Hello, My name is Dee and I'm a Love Addict."

Practical Magic or DIY: Love Potion #9

" When shall we three meet again in thunder, lightning, or in rain? When the hurlyburly 's done, when the battle 's lost and won "

Macbeth - William Shakespeare

(Act I, Scene I)

     Suffice to say, lately I’ve been feeling a little, well, witchy. (Ha,ha- I know, when am I not? Ok, get it out of your system. You done now? Thank you.) Anyway, I don’t mean witchy in that sense. I mean..witchy, magicky, earthy. My life is pretty normal, somewhat dry to tell the truth. But occasionally, there comes an instance when I can feel the presence of magic in my life, be it the sight of a beautiful ocean, a gorgeous full moon, or the feel of wind in my hair during a storm. Life is magical and energetic. And we could all use more of that. But it takes being open and willing to receive- to be sensitive means being open to being hurt as well as being open to ecstasy. In Greece, women who opened themselves to ecstasy were sometimes called Maenads-followers of the god Bacchus, who ate and drank themselves into a frenzy, (and sometimes tore their lovers to pieces.) They were rightfully feared...and also envied. Men who went into a frenzy in battle were called berserkers-violent warriors filled with bloodlust who were held in fear and awe. Prophets and oracles too, like the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi, lived their lives hoping for the ecstasy of communication with their gods. Over the ages, people have tried and tried again to find a way to sustain the ecstasy of being outside themselves, (The seventies and peyote- I’m just sayin’),trying magic, drugs, alcohol, and sex to get out of their own skins; to escape the pain of being alive. Perhaps they didn’t understand, we have never understood, that being alive is magic- and therefore is pain and pleasure all wrapped up in one. Like love and marriage, you can’t have one without the other. (I know, stop laughing. You’re so cynical!) Magic is the ability to see and feel things- not beyond the ordinary- but to perceive the ordinary exactly as it is- as wondrous. Humans are made to take in information-through sight, and touch, emotion, and logic. We are conduits for life, and therefore for magic. We don’t have to be outside ourselves. We don’t have to be separate. We don’t have to be alone. We can just be. Now, how hard can that be? (Yeah, I know.)
Okay, so here are some instructions for how to invite more magic into your own life.

Ritual #1

1. Slow down-you’re missing it. What is it? Whatever is happening right now- even if it’s boring, this moment in your life will never come again. Think about that for a moment and..

2. Breathe-deeply, slowly, tenderly. Feel alive. Hold your breath for a moment. Doesn’t it feel good when you breathe again? Memorize that feeling...and

3. Move-however you want- just move-walk, dance, tap your toes, move your pinkies. Ain’t it grand that you have them? Pay more attention to your body. It protects you from a lot more than you know. Take care of it. And, last but not least...

4. Sense-in everyway you can, use the sense(s) God gave you- think, see, hear, feel, taste as much as you can. Make it a daily ritual. Have you ever looked at your hand- I mean, really looked at your hand? (Bad pot joke? Sorry! ;>) Exercise your brain, taste new foods, see beautiful sights. Condition your body to be open to new sensations, then enjoy the rush.

Still don’t feel open to the universe? Then there’s always the backup plan.


Love Potion #9


Instructions

Gather the following ingredients into an ice cold cauldron (er, shaker) and mix well. Serve on the rocks. Give some to the love of your life (yourself, silly!)-then have a second. Give the rest to anyone else you think needs a little love. Best when imbibed under a full moon with friends.


Ingredients


1 oz Absolut vodka


1 oz Amaretto almond liquor


1 oz Peach schnapps


1 oz Orange juice


1 oz Cranberry juice


Shake well-serve on the rocks

I Hope You Had The Time Of Your Life or DIY: Top 20 Playlist of My Life and Times

My whole life has been one slow rolling film clip, it seems to me. Until now, it's been a dreamscape, slowly rolling along, no real action. I kept thinking, can we get some rising action here, a little bit of drama, a climax, something?! It wasn't until I joined the over-thirty club that I realized this is it- this is life- nobody will make your life more exciting for you. Nobody else can star in my show but me. So how to get myself pumped up enough to be my own action super-heroine? I decided I needed a soundtrack. Music, for me, can be very evocative- pulling me back to a specific place and time, pulling forth memories that I thought I had long forgotten. But it’s also good for inspiration- something to get me moving, heart pumping, hips grooving-a little salsa, anyone? So I need something. Something to get the adrenaline pumping; something with lots of drums, good bass, a raw edged voice; something to make me feel alive. I need crazy sexy rock and roll, smooth RandB for the love scenes sure to follow (please?), a little bit of acoustic for when I'm feeling mellow, and some gritty hip hop for when I feel the need for some flavor. I am remaking the story of my life- a sequel that for once, will be better than the original. And like many a Hollywood blockbuster, the soundtrack will be the best part. I will be a “Shining Star”, and “Walk Like An Epytian” and do it without shame. This is my show- and I am happy to be a "#1 Stunna" in my "Celebrity Skin".Be the star of your own show-choose a theme song just for you. Rock hard and often. Peace.




Top Twenty Countdown-what are you in the mood for?

            Mood       Song                                         Group                      Year

Raucus       Celebrity Skin                            Hole                        1998

Pissed          Bodies                                     Drowning Pool         2001

Excited          Speedballin’                           Outkast                 2001

Hopeful         Dream Big                                Jazmin Sullivan        2009

   Sad            Everybody Hurts                        REm                     1993

             Emo             6 Underground                       Sneaker Pimps          1996

             Cool             The Life                              Mystic                          2004

Mellow           Edge Hill                             Groove Armada              2001

          Reflective         One                                   U2                               1991

In Love           Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop    Landon Pigg            2008

         Thoughtful      Wild Horses                      The Sundays                       1992

Aggressive         Hate It or Love It             The Game                            2005

          Sexy                You Should Be Here          Raphael Saddiq                   1999

         Fun                   Party Like A Rockstar         ShopBoyz                         2007 

                                  (You know I had to!)

         Sweet                Pretty Wings                      Maxwell                              2009

         Edgy                Clint Eastwood                 Gorillaz                                 2001

          Chillin'                Left Handed                     Lali Puna                              2004

         Powerful               Extraordinary                  Liz Phair                                 2004

         Hip                     Bullet and Target            Citizen Cope                            2004

This listing is by no means official- care to submit a track? Post additions here

I’m Your Venus, I’m Your Fire, Your Desire or DIY: Find Your Inner Goddess

Worship me. Praise me.  Adore me.  Over the centuries, religion has risen and fallen, schisms have erupted and martyrs have been..well, martyred. All of this over which god should be worshipped, and how, and when. In the end it all boils down to- my god is better than your god. But what about the goddesses? History is swarming with powerful goddesses, who were worshipped for their life giving properties, their motherly natures, and their fecundity- (that means pregosity [the ability to procreate abundantly] to you).  These gentle mothers of the earth have been all but forgotten- and for good reason. They never existed. The archetype of gentle earth mother is a fiction that was created by generations of leaders who wanted the quell the natural fiery power of womanhood. ( O.k., now that all the men have run out of the room, let's get down to brass tacks.)  History is told by the victors, they say- or the interpreters, or the liars. Let's be real- accurate, that is.  History is a story- unfortunately, a story where too often the contributions of women have been excluded.  It's not enough that women don't know their own strength, we have systematically been told through the media that we never had any.  But in every woman lies the strength of Isis, Astarte, Nut, The Morrigan, and others. Don't know who they are. Hold up, wait a minit.* Isis, was the Egpytian goddess of magic, medicine and yes, motherhood. Her power was second only to Ra, the sun god- this was a woman who put back together the pieces of her murdered husband's body, and then used it to bring forth new life. Watch out now!  Astarte- called Queen of the Stars, Queen of the  Universe, whose consort, the king ruled faithfully by her side.(And don't kill the messenger, but according to some sources, she was even known as consort of Yahweha and ruled equally at his side, until he complained. Ain't that just like a man?)
Nut- the embodiment of the sky- no submissive earth mother here- In Egyptian texts, Nut ruled the sky, while her husband Geb- god of the earth lay beneath her. She was also represented as a  sky cow (watch the jokes- who let those guys back in?!) whose eyes represented the moon and sun, and whose udders gave forth the Milkyway- in effect she was the birth motehr of the universe who provided sustenance for all. Then there's the Morrigan- the Irish goddess of death and fertility;two things women know often go together. Her incarnation was the raven and she was often seen on the battlefield, leading the charge. When she sought  the hero Cuchalain as her lover, he rejected her (jerk)  because he didn't recognize her feminine power- in his last battle she failed to protect him and he died with a raven sitting on his shoulder. (Y'all betta recognize- a woman scorned and all that. ) And these are just a few of the archetypes of womanhood- mother, daughter, wisewoman, crone, and lover. (btw- the rest of the goddesses didn't play either- they were all warrior goddeses and can be seen in various incarnations kicking ancient ass. Check out India's Kali- that woman didn't play.) So what happened to the goddesses? Not a thing. They're all still there. Now, I'm not advocating idol worship (Surgeon General's Warning- independent thinking, and questioning of the Judeo-Christian ideology is not recommended for pregnant women, smokers, habitual drinkers, and all you other heathens out there), but maybe we can take a page from  herstory and worship ourselves, just a little. Remember that Banarama song ?  <singing lustily> "I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, your desire!" (ok, so I'm not the goddess of music). Be a Venus, be a Morrigan, be an Isis, a Yemaya, a Kali, an Astarte, - a lover, a warrior, a mother, a dancer, a destroyer, a creator. Be invincible. Just do you.

Take The Goddess Quiz- Which Goddess Is Your Counterpoint!-my first Facebook App!

*yes, I know minite is spelled minute- it's called dialect, people!

P.S. Wanna see some real goddesses- take a look at Miwa Yanagi's Windswept Women series- click the title link above- great visceral art. May we all be this old and powerful someday!

Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light

In case you haven’t noticed, fall is here. The signs are obvious in the early darkening day, the howling winds, and if you’re lucky, the beautiful turning colors of the fall leaves. The autumn equinox, the point when day and night are equal, has passed and the year is turning towards the dark-side and so am I. I find myself wanting to stay inside, warm, cozy and dozy, while outside the raging winds blow. I am, it must be admitted , a bit of a powder puff when it comes to winter. This time of year, during which many celebrate All Hallow’s Eve, All Saint’s Day and Dia De los Muertos ( the Day of the Dead), can be considered the long, dark, tea time of the soul. It’s a time for gazing in a mirror and reflecting on our selves as the year runs down to zero.  Historically, winter was seen as a time of dread- a time of starvation, and bitter cold, a time of testing because only the strong survived to feel the warmth of another spring. But it could also be considered a time of rest, when fields lay fallow and the earth slept in renewal. It was the time when ancestors returned to earth to communicate with loved ones and magic was seen as commonplace, because it is always easier to believe in magic in the dark. This year I too want to be renewed. I want to slough off my blankets, and ease off my couch (goodbye, couch- sniff) and bravely ( okay, in my case, tentatively) open the door to winter. Unlike our ancient ancestors, we don’t have to hide in caves (unless you want to) and bear the wrath of frozen winter.  (okay, I know that sounded all high 'falutin).We have electric blankets, and cocoa and warm, cozy nights by the fire.   (Mmm, cocoa.) Now, while I won’t intimate that anyone who enjoys cocoa is a weakling- (who doesn’t enjoy a cuppa or two?) I will say, that maybe it’s time we braved winter and the dark and remembered that the world revolves from light to dark for a reason. In the coming darkness, maybe we should all take the time to remember that our days upon the earth, like the light, like the spring, are short and not guaranteed. Maybe we should accept the darkness as a background for our fears, and recognize that the demons we used to hear in the night are ourselves and work to exorcise them in the new year. Maybe we should look into our own darkness and find one spark to nurture through the coming winter- spiritual or otherwise. Maybe we should believe in magic- if only of the human kind. Darkness can bring people together.  Darkness is the background for the stars.Candles shine brightest in the dark. This is the time for renewal, to challenge, and nurture and transform  ourselves, like caterpillars in coocoons, in hopes that come the spring we will be someone better  than we were before. This winter, be a light in the darkness for someone- yourself and others.