Tuesday, February 12, 2013


Ok, so I'm gonna completely ignore the fact that I haven't written in this blog for a year and a half.  Things were happening, my life was changing, blah, blah, blah.  Things are still happening, and my life is still changing, so I've decided to get off my ass and get back to writing something, anything really at this point.  But where to start? In my car, as usual.  It's a great place to think, albeit I should be concentrating on driving,. But usually I don't and I have conversations in my head instead.  In this case it seemed apropos that I was driving and thinking about back roads- the secret ways we take to get where we're going everyday.  I live in a different place than I did a year ago, literally and figuratively, and getting where I need to go takes a lot longer,  literally and figuratively,but the rewards have definitely been worth it.  I have new people in my life, a new job (really the same old job from the last time I wrote, but with more responsibility) and a new happiness that I couldn't have seen coming when I started writing this blog as a Misery Molly way back in Japan.  I can't believe it's been so long since I've been home from there and can't believe I'm back here when I thought I'd never return. Back in the city of my birth, traveling roads I traveled as a kid, doing a (higher level) of a job I've done before. I read once in a book that Gypsies believe you should never walk backwards in your own footsteps- that it's unlucky to re-trace your steps, and undo the path you've started on.  I was determined not to go home again after living abroad, not to have a normal life that as I saw it was just a rut... but there's a certain necessity in circling back again- maybe not circling this time, so much as ascending in a spiral.  The place where I was emotionally awhile back isn't where I am now, even if my physical location is the same. And I'm more grateful for that than words can say.  And now I'm even back to this blog, a literal archive of those times, and it's so interesting how I can see myself getting better, and getting ready for what was coming.  It's weird that I thought no one would read this blog anymore if I wasn't a Sad Sally anymore...And I didn't want to be that anymore so I stopped writing.  I should have been thinking, if they stuck around the first time, they deserve to see the happy ending.  So, hopefully, from now on, that's what I'm gonna write.  About how I changed, am still changing, am still circling  and spiraling around and ascending. There's beauty in the path that brought me here, and though I might have wanted to take someone else's journey, it was  and is , right that I travel on my own, travel my own backroads  and be open to new travels with fair winds and open roads before me. If you're still out there, you're welcome, again, to join me on the journey. 
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller


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