Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What Dreams May Come

Everyone knows that listening to someone else talk about their dream is soooo boring.... because yours was way more interesting and important.  So, yes, I know right off the bat you will not be able to picture whaw\t I'm going to talk about next....but I'm gonna do it anyway.  So, there's an old belief that dreaming about snakes means a woman is pregnant (no, that's not what I dreamed, sheesh!) In fact, I dreamed about being in an aquarium looking into a beautiful round window on a seascape- filled with ferns,  and tiny organisms.... and what looked like a proto-Pokemon floating in amniotic fluid.  Now, keep in mind that whatever you dream of is not literally what you're dreaming about.  So dreaming about a tiny floating creature does not (again) mean you're pregnant or want to be.  In fact, according to the Dream Dictionary, (plus, of course, my own intuition) water generally represents your unconscious and your emotional state. So to see my emotional state as beautiful and calm should be considered a good thing, right? Only, here's the tricky part-  in my dream, I came back to the exhibit again, and this time the staff wouldn't let me in. Imagine, the nerve to keep me from my own subconscious!  So naturally, I did what anyone would- I tried to sneak in.  Over and over I kept trying to find a way into the exhibit so I could see the little creature floating in space that was me- I jumped the line, I snuck into a restroom past security, I actually broke another exhibit- (whoever you were in the hall of dreams, I'm sorry!) But I couldn't get back to myself. How many times have you felt like that? I've felt at something of a plateau for a while now.  My friends either have well established lives or are starting new ones, and I'll admit- I'm a little jealous.  I know that my new life is out there- I keep getting little hints, times when good omens seem to abound- I hear news of interviews coming, and someone looks at my house.. and then they back off. I'm afraid being in stasis  much longer will kill me.  That new little life floating in space belongs to me. I just need to get my hands on it. So maybe tonight I'll try a little lucid dreaming- controlling my own conscious.  I want to walk back into that exhibit, knowing that in real life everything does take time- but that my time will come.  So I'll watch my life, that little creature in the picture window, and not let anyone keep me from it. Tonight, I'll stand in front of that little window, and watch myself float and grow in the sea of dreams.

Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher or Variations on a Theme

Hi. My name is Dee and I am a Stumbleupon addict.  Lately it seems all of my posts have been inspired by sites I've found on Stumbleupon, lackadaisically web surfing (instead of putting out resumes or practicing for interviews).  Because we didn't know that the world is full of wild, wonderful, disgusting, atrocious things, we needed Stumbleupon to expose us to all the world has to offer, and give us a like or dislike button and (God have mercy) forums to interject our opinions, because the world desperately needs to know how we feel about double rainbows. (If you missed this internet phenom, you didn't miss much.) But sometimes it seems like Stumbleupon is almost like an oracular...oracle? It shows both how venomous, malicious and sometimes, startlingly awesome the world and its people are.  Case in point- I love  the websites Notalwaysright.com 
and Givesmehope.com- one of which has thousands of examples of what jackwagons people can be, especialy if you're on the wrong side of the customer service desk, while the other is examples (not many as on notalwaysright, I'm sure) of surprising, tear inducing examples of human decency.  Try an experiment- load both pages on your pc at once, and see which one you gravitate towards.  Ten'll get you fifty, it'l be the one that provides all the evidence you'll ever need that human kind's trip to hell in a handbasket will be mighty crowded.  Not only is it full of examples of flat out stupidity, but cupidity (e.g. excessive greed) - grandmother's steal from stores, people curse telemarketers (ok, so on a scale of 1-10, not a sin that will send you to the ninth level of hell, but, having been a telemarketer, I can say with sincerity- most of these people are just trying to do their jobs.... and I'm glad none of you know where I live so you can "return the favor.")  These people mock their children, throw things at cashiers, and in every way possible try to gyp the system- these are the common man. Or so you might believe if that were all you ever read.  Reading websites online has the propensity of making one cynical, because everyone can put their opinions, unedited, oh God, how they're unedited  (and no, I didn't forget my own case in point, I know), their prejudices, their ignorance online. Is this how we all really are inside?
But I didn't forget the flank of my argument.  On givesmehope.com, we find the other side of the internet- the community, the freedom to share anonymously the daily selfless, random acts of kindness and civility that allow us to continue to live on top of one another like rats in a cage.  Examples of grace under fire, of teenagers standing up to hate, of true love (however nauseating the details) overcoming time, and  other obstacles.  There are so many stories out there of people everyday doing the right thing.  Wouldn't it be nice if that were the majority of what you read on -line, instead of random drunken texts from textsfromlastnight or "humorous" cartoons on hipster hitler?  People should be more careful of what reflection they cast in the mirror, on t.v. and on-line.  The monsters we read about, are thrilled and terrified by are real.  But then again, so are the angels.  They are us. I can only continue to read, watch and stumble, horrified and fascinated by it all, and hope that in the end the angels prevail. Until then, I think I'll skip textsfromlastnight or hipster hitler for a few days, and maybe, just read givesmehope.com.  I think we all could do with a little more lohope, don't you?

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.  ~Joseph Baretti, quoted by James Boswell, 1766, commonly misattributed to Samuel Johnson* 


 * Don't hate- liberate!!  


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