Wednesday, December 23, 2009

And so this is Christmas.....

And so this is Christmas

And what have you done? Another year over, and a new one just begun… John Lennon

Christmas is definitely a time of year when we reflect. On our shortcomings, our happiness (and how fragile it can be), our regrets. And because we are human, on our indomitable, resurgent hope that things will be better in the new year. Despite the voice of experience, we still truly believe in Christmas, in miracles, and in love. The definition of insanity is trying the same things over and over, while expecting different results. This year let’s not forget to give thanks for insanity. Thank God for hope, which beats the hell out of experience every time, and is the best part of being human.

Sure, people will be crazy at this time of year- the winter solstice just past, a full moon which always brings out the loonies (lunies?), people who will murder you for the latest Power Ranger toy. (No? What is the big thing this year? Hey, I’ve been out of the country, for cryin’ out loud!)

But it also brings out the child in all of us-a kindness that we don’t show at any other time of year- when we are gentle with children, the elderly and ourselves. And while, you may think you are too old to dream of sugarplums, (at my age just dreaming about them adds five pounds), it is still not inconceivable to dream about a white Christmas, or to believe that following a star can lead to redemption.

And what have you done this year? (Getting back to reflections.) I changed my perspective, my locale, and my modus operandi. I moved halfway across the world in hopes of becoming someone different and learned that the people who loved me most, liked me just the way I was…and so did I. I learned to see and make opportunities out of obstacles. I learned to speak another language, and remembered that the most important one, love- needs no translation. I accomplished old dreams, and am now dreaming new ones. I have made new friendships, and learned that the old ones will stretch to wherever I roam. I have (re)learned that I am what I was made to be, what I am (still) being made to be-not perfect, but striving, not wise but learning-one piece of God made manifest. And when joined by lovers, friends and family, made stronger through love. (Great presents Santa! I love ‘em! Now, next year could I get all that and a new truck? Please?)

I hope this year that you have found a piece (peace) of wisdom in my writing. I hope that you have felt my voice speaking to you as you struggled- as we both did. I hope that you have found here a friend that you will come back to again and again. I know I did.

I know when I write that I write not just for myself, but for all who need to hear one voice out of the babble say-“I know what you feel. I feel it too”. For everyone who needs a little empathy, a little irreverence- a little… ( I hesitate to say clarity- it makes me sound so… snooty), maybe just to hear your own thoughts reflected in someone else’s voice. I know that I don’t send my words into empty space- that somewhere, in someone’s heart, they are received. Thank you for sharing my journey so far and, if you’re up for it, continuing on with me. The new year is coming. I’ll see you there.

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