Ok-let's try this.
I don't know where my head's been at recently. I've been battered by thoughts both disturbing and enlightening and it's all because I've been thinking about my future....and my past. One of my favorite Zen sayings is
"watching unruly thoughts come and go is the essence of meditation."
(Have no idea who said it or if I quoted it right. Let's just go with it.)
Well lately, unruly thoughts have been coming at me left and right, and completely swamping me in their wake. They revolve around "where am I going?" , and "where have I been?", some "what's the point?" and lot's of "I can't handle this!!!" And when it got to the point when I found myself thinking, "It would be so nice not to have to think sooo much" or "Sometimes I just wish I wasn't...here", I decided to step back from the edge and find a way to save myself.
I worry about the future..a lot. I worry about the past and the mistakes I've made. I worry that my wants are selfish, that I don't have enough ambition, that I'm not loving enough, and will never find a love of my own. I dream restless dreams and wake up tired and glum. My thoughts are a terrible, weighty burden and quite frankly, I've grown sick of them. So how to turn on, tune in and drop out? Take a page from a Zen master (not me)- and feel the Ohm.
Rule #1- There are no rules
(but if you insist)
1. Be still- "We cannot see our reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see." Being still is so hard... and so worth it. We constantly feel that we have to move at the speed the world is moving. We don't - if you stop and sit, the world will keep spinning- and believe it or not, you won't fly off.
2. It's okay to doubt- "