Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Average Everyday Sane Psycho Super Goddess- or DIY: I'm Gonna Pump (Clap) You Up!

I'm slamming two topics together today with my usual witty (read: haphazard) writing.  I've decided that I need to get on the bandwagon and really visualize where I want to go in the next few years. As much as I've been contemplating (read: whining) about my situation, the truth is, I really have too many options right now, not too few.  I feel in need of some clarification about what I want to accomplish, and since my Magic Eight Ball is currently out of commission, it's up to me to make some choices despite feeling like I'm floundering in the dark. So, two things to accomplish today; look back at what I've already accomplished and decide what I want to accomplish next.  Earlier this year I did a Bucket List  of things I wanted to do before I die. While I've been busy bemoaning my current state, it occurred to me (after talking to my friends and family, all of whom said "get over yourself"- thanks for the support, guys!) that I really was doing okay in my life. I had accomplished things on my list and not even acknowledged them, even though they were kindof a big deal.

Let's look at the list-

Dee's Bucket List
1. Learn to dance-  the waltz, the tango, salsa- whatever.  
Check- I actually can do the waltz, and got a chance to dance in a little bar in Nagasaki City for my half-birthday. (Don't ask)

2. Go horseback riding on the beach- like on the cover of a romance-
      preferably with a guy with ripped abs in a poet shirt open to his navel. (grrrowl!)

3. Write a book- on anything. Just finish one.   
Check- I have written the book, it's currently in revisions, and hopefully will be available soon. 

4. Travel to every continent at least once. Preferably more than once. (and buy lots of tacky souvenirs.)

5. See an opera.  (Not the Gotterdamerung- too much Wagner isn't good for you.)

6. Read my poetry on stage -without collapsing in a puddle of sweat. 
Check- have already done this, didn't collapse, and might do it again soon. 

7. Adopt-even if I'm sure I'll suck as a mother (though I have a pretty good role model. Hi Mom!)

8. Sing once in public- again, without melting into a puddle of sweat.  
(I do a pretty good Tina Turner- "polite snickers in the background"-    ok, fine, maybe Nina Simone?)
Check- did this too- again in  a little bar on an island off the coast of Nagasaki. Tune? "Knocking on Heaven's Door"- --gospel style!

9.Buy a motorcycle- or at least drive one on my own. 

10. Start my own business- and get some good advice so I don't run it into the ground. 

11. Learn to shoot a gun- and hope like hell I'll never have to use one. But at least I'll know how.

12. Fall in love at least once more- and this time really pay attention,   
 instead of just drifting around in a  rose colored fog. Those memories might be all I have one day. 
  (okay- maybe more than once- if at first you  don't succeed and all that.)
Ummm- still working on it.

13.  Wear an itty bitsy teenie weenie bikini- but not yellow or polka dot. (Polka dots make me gag)

14. Go to a really great party- I mean a New York at midnight on New Years party,  
a Mardi Gras or Carnivale in Brazil type party- a   party and don't stop till three days later party. (and it goes without saying, be the life of the aforementioned party. Body shots anyone? )

15. Write a love letter- and get one in return.  
Check and check...Ok,  I still haven't gotten one in return, but it's a start, right?

Ok, so currently I'm five for fifteen- not so bad when you think about it.  So okay, some of the things on my list were a little...out there. But thinking about those things happening in my life makes me happy. So if you're gonna go, go big, even if your dream seems a little insane. Right now, I just have to decide what to do in my new year, which starts.....right now.  I'm gonna put together a vision board (yes, I did see this on Oprah and it worked!)  and will my life into shape. Last year my vision board had these main things on it- fall in love, write more than I had in years, start a cool new job, get in shape, and go to Japan.  Curiously, every one of these things happened, although not the way I had expected. I did fall in love, I have been writing more (helloo? blog?), I did find a cool new job,  and it  just happened to be in ...wait for it...Japan!  I don't know about you but I believe!  (oooooh- in scary voice).  So this years challenge?  

1. Publish the first (of many) books- before Christmas.(Plug- Black Girl At Large the book will be available online before soon as I finish the editing!) 

2. Make a decision about my next relocation- current top runners- Texas, Kentucky, Mephis, Tennessee, Kentucky, or Europe- send your vote if you like and reasons why would be good too!

3. Decide- business or culinary school- and don't vote for culinary school if all you want is free cake.

4. New relationship or adoption- or both? I'm not gettin' any younger or less selfish. That might be a hard one. 

Maybe when I get the new vision board done I'll post a picture, or you can send me one if you'd like that I can  add to the montage. It's time for me to get this thing we call life, off the ground.  At the risk of sounding a little crazy, it really comes down to a choice of which makes more sense- being stable or being happy? Before, one move, one vision, changed my life. Admittedly,right now everything's a little topsy turvy- but if I had to do it all again...I'd do it all again. So send me your votes for where to go next.  My vote is the same as always- if there's a choice between being stable and unhappy, and insane and joyful- I'll go for insanity.  Care to join me? 

For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. 
Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity.
Jean Dubuffet 


  1. I vote for a business. But what kind do you want? Europe sounds awesome because it's different and because I want to visit there. :-D

    Do what makes you happy--no matter what other people have to say about it.

  2. Decisions, decisions...Culinary school, I like free pie, too. Carnival here we come!



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